Husband INSISTS on video recordings labor and birth . [labor and birth] [labor and delivery]
My husband definitely does not take “NO” for an answer when we talk about video recordings of the labor and delivery! Now, this really makes me angry, because we agreed for the first 8 months that no video or still photography until after the baby was born. Now, suddenly, he wants our video camera practically propped between my legs all the time!
Im very uncomfortable with this. I have no problem with people like births on video – its an amazing thing to watch. But I am and have always been very inhibited for the camera, especially video cameras, I am a very private person, and I really feel like a big distraction and possibly complicate the process because Im going to try my damndest an unmedicated labor and delivery (I can not have an epidural because of a previous back surgery, and I do not IV drugs). The last thing I would be concerned about is what I will look at the camera, or watching my husband be fooled by the equipment in place to help me.
To make matters worse, my mother saw my nephew was born back in April, so if they can not make it here from TN in time for the birth, they encourage DH to tape .
Anyone else ever had this problem? How did you deal with? DH I threatened that I would start by taping him every time he went to poop, so he would know how I feel .
I am so frustrated with him! We discuss it every day! Help .!
——————
Expecting our first child in June 03. Its a boy!
Proud a Navy wife! Married to my wonderful nuclear submarine since April 2001.
Natural Labor Induction Induce Labor Naturally
Reply:Hi,
I might be too late with my opinion but here it is anyway. Well, when I first read your post I thought of myself. When I was pg, I told my husband from the start NO video taping…at all. (Not until after the baby was born.) I also didn't want anyone in the delivery room with me except for DH. And when you said that your DH INSISTED…I thought if my DH did that to me what would I say/do? I would definately try to find out the policy. But, if my DH wasn't listening to how I felt about it, it would REALLY UPSET me. It is your body, you are the one carrying the baby for 9 months, you are the one who has to go through the pain and discomfort. Your DH has to realize these issues and respect YOUR DECISION. Ultimately, it is your decision…regardless of what he says/thinks. He is the father, but you are the mother and the one who has to go through everything. He isn't the one who has to go through the pain. His job as your husband is to comfort you and help you as much as possible. He needs to open his eyes and see that it is putting unnecessary stress on you.
Well, I hope things work out. Think about all the different posts. Everyone here agrees that it is YOUR decision. But, someone made points of how you MIGHT feel in the future about it. So, think about it and hopefully things will work out ofr the best. Good luck.
Guys Guide To The Delivery Room
Reply:My mother was going to tape the birth of my son(from a tasteful angle), but the doctor made her shut it off when it came time for the actual delivery. I didn't realize that some hospitals had this policy and figured he wanted it off because he was being such a jerk and didn't want anything incriminating caught on camera!
Maternity Acupressure Guide: Easier, Shorter And Safer Birth
Reply:Firstly – Try letting him film the "on the way to hospital part" then the "getting settled in" part. After that nothing until baby is born or being born. This can be done "G" ratedly by having him or a nurse behind your shoulder. My mom was behind my right shoulder so she got Grace right when the doctor already pulled her out and was suctioning her. Bad part was she was so damn emotional she made someof it look like a roller coaster ride. After this the camera stayed on Gracie until I was prepped to hold her. DF got to be with baby and I without the camera. I am a control freak and I sware for better coverage I will tape it myself this time.
Secondly – I was apprehensive at first since I felt that I didn't video my first born that there would someday be an argument between her and I, but now after having the great experience of being able to go back and look at those moments again and again I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad I did. I can never get those moments back so that helps….especially when she talks in full sentences now and is potty training. You can still tape it and be rated "G" about it and still protect your privacy.
Thirdly – If none of this works then tell him you called the hospital and they no longer allow taping because of liability reasons LOL! Seriously.
——————
Marie
It's A Boy!!
Expected August 2, 2003
Expecting Mother’s Guide to Water Births
Reply:Thank you so much for all of your opinions! I guess it wouldn't be THAT bad if he just taped the baby coming out and then the moments after… I just don't want hours on end of labor footage! But, when I'm pushing, maybe the videocamera will be the last thing on my mind…
So, thanks for helping me see how I might feel in the future!
——————
Expecting our first child in June '03. It's a BOY!!!
Proud to be a Navy wife! Married to my wonderful nuclear submariner since April 2001.
The Ultimate Collection Of Pregnancy eBooks – 4 Sites To Promote!
Reply:I have to tell you something that I did not want to be taped, and I thought that was not the time to make home movies. My Daughter is 10 now, and her and I talk about when she was born and I show her pictures after the birth and so on, however I sooooooo do wish now that I had a tape of her being born. I also had the mirrors but you are so busy doing your thing, you forget to look half the time, and all of a sudd.. its over. This tape your husband wants to make can be just between you too. You don't have to share it with anyone. You might have stong feelings right now, but trust me, at some point you are going to wish you had a tape of the birth. I am pregnant now, and I already asked a close friend to tape the birth of this child. I don't want to miss out on it again because this only happens ONCE in a lifetime with each of your children. As far as my daughter go's, I will always feel bad for the fact that I let my so called "shyness" get in the way of a beautiful momment. It may not be beautiful to you right now, but when you hold your child for the first time, you won't think of anything else but beautiful. I hope you let someone tape you birth so you don't feel like I do now. You can always distroy it later if you are still upset about the fact later. But you could never go back.
Best of luck to you!
Tiffany
Birthologie – Empowered Online Childbirth Education
Reply:I think you have final word in this. It is a matter of telling your husband that even though you love him and unstand it may be important to him you still can not allow a camera in the delivery room. It is your body and you should not have cameras pointed at any part of it without your consent. PERIOD! I think it is extremely inconsiderate and selfish of people to insist on ANYTHING that involves your comfort level during labor and delivery. Explain to hubby that next time he carries and a baby to full term he'll be able to make the choice whether or not to have cameras present but until then it's you choice and the answer is no.
Good luck!
Birth-records.com – New Site from Procash!
Reply:Say 'NO'. If he still insists, tell him you won't allow him in the delivery room.That should change his mind.After all,you're bringing a child into the world and it's already going to be a painfull, uncomfortable situation.He should be there trying to make you as comfortable as possible.
Grocery Delivery Decoded – Home Grocery Delivery Start Up Package
Reply:I was actually thinking of this exact same thing this morning, not that it's has become an issue, but my DH will be taking the video as well as the stills camera in with us. I know that I don't want the birth on video tape, just a few random shots leading up to birth, and then of the baby. I think that you definitely should put your foot down on this one, as it can cause lots of unhappiness, besides it's your body.
Linklok automates delivery of your downloads
Reply:I can not blame you one bit….I had a c-section and my husband video taped that and it was fine with me but I was completely covered up. Had I delivered naturally my husband would have had a black eye if he had videod it. However before we knew I was having a c-section it was already agreed upon that there wouldnt even be anybody else in the labor room besides my husband, he had even told my inlaws that they were welcome during labor but once it came time to deliver they needed to step outside. I didnt even have to tell my parents they know me well enough to know they wouldnt be allowed in the room. But my mom is alot like me. Why dont you talk to your doctor without your husband around and explain to him/her that you and your husband are arguing over this everyday and you really dont want the birth videotaped, then the next time your husband is with you at an appointment dring up having hte birth video taped and then the doctor can jump in and say that its against rules. My doctor would have done that for me without hesitation. Atleast that wa theproblem is taken care of and you're not the "bad guy". And during delivery if the hopsital staff finds out you dont want it videotaped they wont let him do it. But your husband owes it to you to respect your wishes and not videotape it…look on the bright side if you turn into pure evil like I did during labor with my first baby you wont hesitate to speak your mind and he'll be so frightened by the horns that have grown out of the top of your head he'll probably throw the video camera away
7 Secrets To Natural Childbirth
Reply:My husband also was persistent to video tape the birth. I was totally against it but in the midst of labor decided to go with it. i am happy that I did. He had the camera on a tripod positioned to the side not head on. As gross as it may sound i was in such a daze during my birth partially due to not having any medication that I am happy to have that moment on tape. I have watched it and am in total awe of how beautiful the moment really was. The decision is yours as it is your birth.
Reply:Your hubby just might have to take no for an answer! A good majority of hospitals now will not allow the actual birth to be videotaped. Even if they do, some doctors have a personal policy that they will not allow a camcorder to be turned on until after the baby has been delivered. Speak with your doctor at your next visit and find out what their policy is. Like guy said, if your doctor knows that YOU are 100% sure that you don't want it videotaped, he/she can simply tell your hubby no.
Are you delivering at a military hospital? I know that here they won't even allow you to take pics with your digital camera until later! We had a great nurse who let my friend sneak in the door and snap a few shots of my son as he was coming out and they are amazing photos.
Good luck!
——————
~ Proud To Be An Air Force Wife ~
Reply:Hi,
I don't have much advice, but I just wanted to say that I totally agree with you.
Fortunately for me, my husband doesn't want to be anywhere near my lower half when the baby comes out. He says he'll stay with me for the entire labour and delivery….as long as he doesn't have to look at it.
Maybe you can talk to the doctor beforehand and have him/her ask your husband to refrain from videotaping for some medical reason. If he/she knows how uncomfortable you are, maybe THEY can convince your husband.
Good luck!
Crystal
EDD: Sept 11th
Reply:HI, my sister had a similar problem with her DH, she gave birth 8 weeks ago……She wasnt comfortable with the idea, then it was suggested that one of the nurses or midwives in the room video JUST the baby coming out, so that her DH could be there for her….It didnt end up happening and since then my sister has actually said she wishes they had taped it now…..I think if you REALLY dont want it, then you have to put your foot down with your DH……You will be going through enough at the time without being stressed about that….Its all down to personal preference, when i had my son I was offered a mirror when he was coming out, I didnt even want that at the time…Im not sure how I will feel this time around….I was only 17 when I had my son and was terrified about the whole process, now as an adult I may feel differently….I dont think I would want to be taped either though ! Immediately after my daughter has come out DEFINATELY ! BUT not leading up to it……
——————
EDD 18/10/2003
ITS A GIRL 
